Friday, January 12, 2007

A brush with hygiene

We're finally painting this weekend! Last night we Home Depot'd it and
bought all the necessary things: paint, brushes, rollers, booze,
coveralls, a goat, dropsheets, diapers, snowgoggles and a leafblower.

The colour we've selected is called Desert Sand. When it's windy outside,
hard micro-pellets of sand will detach from the wall and whip against our
bare legs and scratch our retinas (See? Now you know why we'll need the goat).

I have been busy sanding down the plastered bits on the wall. The sanding is dirty and there are mini-piles of dust all along the baseboard. Flea and Chachi look like that dandruffy kid in Grade 3 that no one would sit beside (did that kid also eat poop sangweeches?).

Oh - speaking of which, I gave them a bath yesterday because despite their size they still manage to generate quite a hum. The best way I can describe it is - they smell like eyes, ears and mouth. All rolled into one.

I had to laugh because it was the first time that Chachi actually REALIZED that he was going to get a bath. I ran the water in the tub, shook up a shampoo bottle and he ran away. When he runs to 'hide' he only goes as far as the safety of a little dogbed beside the couch - sittin' there all earless, wide-eyed and trembling. And when I got closer, he turned his back to me, like 'If I can't see you, you can't see me!' Finally, as a last resort he rolled on his back and tapped at me with his front paws, pleadingly.

Minutes later, he smelled like Mango Tango.

I actually took a photo of him playing the victim because I was laughing
so hard. I'm even posting it for ya because I know how you can't get enough of my dog photos and me talking about my dogs and dogs dogs blah blah blaaahhhhhhhhhh DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGS!!!!

If there's one thing I can say about chihuahuas, they can really milk the pity card like you've never seen. I give you Exhibit A. I call it "hygiene-phobic ratdawg". If you look closely, you can see wavy lines of stink eminating from his body (and Flea's mini-feets).

HAH! If the neighbourhood dogs saw this, Chachi would never live it down.

So, yeah. Painting. The place might be a mess this weekend, but at least I gots clean dogs. Oh, and just in case you bleeding hearts are wondering if Chachi's okay -right now he's sitting on my lap hosing down his crotch. Everything is as it should be.


Maria said...

I think "we" have desert sand in our bedroom, minus the goat! This weekend I go get myself a goat that way the look will be complete.

Is there a sale on goats anywhere or do we pick that up at Home Depot too?
Brings new meaning to the saying "everything under one roof".

Have a splendid weekend!

JB said...

Poor Chach. Lookin' all timid and please-don't-do-that-to-me-like.

How different dogs are from humans. I mean, humans prefer a good bath or shower over a tongue bath ANY day.

...Okay, maybe we're not so different after all.

Have fun painting, Nat and Corn. Try to get some on the walls.

amazon woman said...

Too cute! Yeah home renovations. The cantaloupe room is in the final stages. Good luck!

Keep smilin!

Anonymous said...

you can get booze at home depot?! Man, where do they hide that aisle? Is all wood alcohol though?

Newsguy Bob said...

Any Home Depot I've ever been at, the goats are in Aisle 9. Just follow the smell.

Painting joke here:
What did the Pope say to Michelangelo in the Sistine Chapel?
"C'mon down, Mike. We're gonna wallpaper!"

It is that joke that will be the major factor in me never visiting the Sistine Chapel. Besides being a non-Catholic with an overactive imagination about what fire and brimstone would befall me in such a sacred Catholic place, I would not have the self-control not to blurt out that punchline in a loud, clear, no-mistakin'-it voice.

Speaking of paint and wallpaper: N@ and Corn, for the sake of the kids/ratdawgs, DO NOT attempt to wallpaper together. It is the ultimate test of any relationship, without any guarantee of the outcome. I know of several couples whose relationships just barely survived the Couples Wallpapering event. I think a few of them resulted in one spouse/partner or the other sleeping on the couch for a night or five.

By the way, I bought Season One of "Arrested Development" on DVD this weekend. I never watched it until CBC started airing it at 5:30 weekdays this month. Hill-air-ee-uss!

Later, Gators. I might have more tidbits on the job front to report later this week. Stay tuned...