Yo-Girth

I'm not the kind of person who pretends fruit is dessert.
Fruit is NOT dessert.
I also don't buy it when people say crap like - oh, I don't care for dessert. I take a little honey in my water, and that's good for me!
Shut up. Honey water will be dessert as soon as they start replacing the cake with it at weddings, you arsehole.
The other night I saw a commercial for Activia "dessert". A yogurt passing itself off as dessert, which would have had me rolling my eyes once upon a time. But now - I MIGHT be willing to believe that one because of something I recently discovered:

EXHIBIT A:


Have you seen this at your local supermarket? This stuff will MESS YOU UP, BUT GOOD. I am in the habit of buying plain yogurt because I like using it on salmon and for pasta sauces. I bought this stuff a while back (plain, not blackberry) - had it in my fridge for a while and noticed it was getting near the expiry date. So, I decided I'd throw some in a bowl with some granola to try and get rid of it. Except when I opened the container, this yogurt was unlike any I had ever seen. Thick, luxurious, indulgent, creamy. It looks like whip cream and ice cream had a baby. It is OUTSTANDING.

AND IT'S FREAKIN' YOGURT! WHAT THE....?!!!!

I knew yogurt came in "fill the void" and "good". But I didn't KNOW yogurt came in "deeeeelicious". Honestly? And from a person who doesn't believe in fruit as dessert - this really really IS dessert.

Reminds me of the non-fat frozen yogurt Seinfeld episode.
Everyone was goin' deep on the fro-yo 'til they started getting fat and the jig was up. THIS yogurt isn't hiding anything though. It might be called yogurt but it's full of fat, boasts an 18 gram count per serving and makes no apologies for your spreading girth.

I just ate 2 bowls. Please send help or something in an elastic waistband.