Monday, September 17, 2007

Chicken Wings

I actually laughed out loud at that 6th comment from Maux under the Corn video. Maux pointed out that I've got scrawny wrists. I do. I reeeeally, really do. In fact, they are so delicate, I have to ice them after significant blog entries. Mr. Farnsworth is typing this for me so I can rest a little hey I want steak give me stak you bitc32rt[ewio'jglsd/kfc5mn325jk3;4lktjl;gz;;ldjf09=2

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Cough. Alright. Back to me. So hard to find good hired help these days. Anyway. Do not let my scrawny wrists fool you. It does not mean the rest of me is scrawny too. Sure,I gain weight - but I gain it all below the equator. Yes, Indonesia. That's why I'll never vacation there. Makes me fat.

Anyhoo - just the other day, I went for coffee with Dave and he asked me if I'd been working out because my arms look toned. I corrected him: when you have meatless, chicken wings - it's easy to see something that might be interpreted as muscle. I prefer to call it local swelling due to mosquito bite. The following is not even remotely a joke: My mother beats me at arm wrestling. Dude, I know, I know.

Do this little test on yourself: Take the pinky and thumb of one hand and encircle them around the wrist of the other. Try to make the tips touch. Do they? Mine touch easily. They're practically overlapping.

My watches have to be adjusted, bracelets fall right off and I have a circle of university friends that refer to me as "Burnsy".

Add to this, the fact that I am double-jointed in the arms. Now what the hell is that good for? No one ever thinks double jointed ARMS are cool! It's the legs that get all the attention..wrappin' 'em around your neck and stuff. Here's what you can do with double-jointed arms: lick your own elbow (rent me out for your next bachelor party!) and apply sunblock to your own back. End of list. Plus, when I lean on things with my arms extended, they look like spare parts, jutting out at at bizarre angles. My arms are a Grade 11 geometry problem.

On the upside, I can reach for the last Pringle without tipping the tube. And, if I ever get arrested I'll be outta the cuffs in no time I want steak gimme steeak! i wanlt stealk goaigm;aleatgda
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I have to go now.

2 comments:

Maria said...

I have tiny little wrists also to match my tiny feet. But I have to say that my pinky and thumb don't go around my wrist. Close though.

Misster Kitty said...

No offence N@, ya double-jointed freak; but is seeing a person lick their own elbow really that scintillating? titillating? (... or is that elbowillating?!?) Cause, well, there are many parts of the body I'd be much more impressed by and interested in seeing someone be able to lick... (ask Farnsie to demonstrate...)

Then again I've only ever been to one straight bachelor party before and I don't recall the invited female, let's just call her a 'guest', ever being asked to lick her elbow... all the other bachelor parties I went to were gay, and well, the only reaction seeing a woman licking her own elbow would induce is one of relief that no one else would have to... ;-)

But I applaud your applying sunblock... kudos to you.

I don't recall on our past meetings anything freakish about the size of your wrists... but then I've never really been much of a 'wrist man' your ear lobes on the other hand... va-va-va-voom! ;-)