Sunday, March 18, 2007

Feelin' Green.

Dear Diary,

This morning, we went to Ikea and somewhere between the PSYLLA and the VRADAL, I had the poops. Not gentle, can-wait-til-you-get-home poops. I mean, drop the candles and curtain rods and get ye to a toilet STAT!!!

I felt icky basically all day. It is 3pm and I am now turning a corner on feeling better. I see-th the light-th.

I had to bail on the St. Pat's parade because I really didn't think my innards could handle the bouncing movements of a flatbed truck for an hour. Though, I'm sure between the green puke and the general stink of thousands of drunk people in downtown Montreal - no one would have even noticed.

I had the poops on St. Paddy's Day! And it wasn't even green.

Note to Ikea: sorry about the LOPPSTAL in your KAVSUND. But I couldn't hold it.

So, how WAS the parade, anyway??


Maria said...

I can't tell ya how the parade was cause I didn't go. The off-spring had his soccer finals this morning. Ahhhhhhh the life of a soccer mom. As for getting the poops at IKEA I can't think of a better place to get it... every step you take you feel like your in a new house. Must be loaded with bathrooms in there... no?

Daphne said...

Nice to know I wasn't alone N@. Sorry I spread it on to you. I was poopy and barfy sick Friday night. By Saturday I was better.

Get better soon. Lots of rest :)

Cheryl (a.k.a Sherri, and vice-versa) said...

I feel for you if it's anything like what I had last week. One of those "hmm...which orifice needs to be over the toilet? things. Never been so grateful for the small purple pail in my bathroom. Oh, and nothing is grosser than throwing up Pepto Bismol. On that colourful note...

Daphne said...

Cheryl! That happened to me too! Damn, Pepto just makes it all come up doesn't it?
Wow, I guess it's a small world when everyone figures Pepto Bismol will make it all go away.

It sure does, it makes it all go into the toilet/bucket.

Could this get any grosser?

Newsguy Bob said...

Daphne asks "Could this get any grosser?".
She obviously hasn't around here long, or on Ma Horton's blog.
A question like that is more of a challenge or dare to N@, Ma, JB, Milky, Maria, CQ, me and a few others.
Just remember, Daphne: You started it! :)

Maria said...

Come on NGB don't frighten the new bloggers. We are not gross people.
Someone help me out here.

Anonymous said...

This is weirdo - because I had the same thing yesterday!! I was Ok - shopping around and then WHAM - I found the nearest washroom - and it was locked !! I found the store clerk and he unlocked it - never seen a guy unlock a door so fast !!!...I went home and took the fetal position for the rest of the day ...this must be a global conspiracy - some type of Poop Warefare !!! Auntie C

Anonymous said...

I don't mean to crap out on you here NGB, but I had it too a few weeks ago. Was the sh***iest day I've had in a long time. Besides, I'm better at being a potty mouth than toilet humor...