Thursday, January 25, 2007

Grin and bear it.

I just got back from the gym, and I gotta laugh. On the walk home, I was reflecting on a suggestion form I filled out at the YMCA.

See, there is a machine there which is the absolute BANE of my existence because for MONTHS, the lever used to adjust the thing has been broken. Not broken to the point of being unusable, it's just broken so that the lever for moving the seat is without a handle. That fell off one day, I guess. So, to adjust the machine you have to pull this stupid giant screw that the handle used to be attached to. Retarded. And I can NEVER do it. So, I can never use this machine unless it has already been used by a person around my height.

So, today - I filled out a form for the Suggestion Box (where there were conveniently NO writing implements to be found). I was complaining about this stupid handle. But I started with the words, "PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD..." And yes, I used caps.

Now, I'm totally laughing. It sounded so desperate. I even realized how dumb it was by the time I got to finishing my complaint (around halfway, I stopped using caps). But I didn't feel like filling out another paper. So, I hastefully added a few more words squished in the margin so as not to dampen the team spirit of the YMCA staffers...."Otherwise, nice job all!" and a gott damn happy face. I HAPPY-FACED MY COMPLAINT!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! PULEEEEEEEZ BEEYATCH!!

I gotta grow a couple.


Newsguy Bob said...

Wha' happened? Did you get mugged by Holly Hobby on the way to the freakin' gym? Keep up that crap, and South Porcupine will disown you.

Good thing you're loved by your fellow Bloglodytes.

JB said...

There's this great stand-up bit I once witnessed where the comic was asking the audience, "Ever notice how a guy's voice goes up in pitch as he's being turned down by a woman?" He then pretends to be on the phone to a woman who he's asking out, and he starts out with all this bravado, "Hey, Tracey! Great running into you today! I was wondering what you were - What's that? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."(voice starts going up) "Do you have a minute to talk? No?" (voice goes up even further) "No, that's okay..."(voice now way too high pitched for a man) "Maybe I'll call you back later then? Oh, you're going..."(rushed, practically squealing) I'll try you tomorrow...that's okay bye-bye.

...Your gym note reminded me of that bit.

Katherina said...

The video store at the corner put a nice pad of paper and pen beside a suggestion box for people to use. I wrote down a comment about how I beleieved they should get a "guichet" machine. When I put it in the box I noticed there was just one suggestion in the box already, that read "someone is going to steal this pen and this book". I thought that was so funny. maybe its just me but I wished I could have seen the owners reaction to that one :)