I just got back from the gym, and I gotta laugh. On the walk home, I was reflecting on a suggestion form I filled out at the YMCA.
See, there is a machine there which is the absolute BANE of my existence because for MONTHS, the lever used to adjust the thing has been broken. Not broken to the point of being unusable, it's just broken so that the lever for moving the seat is without a handle. That fell off one day, I guess. So, to adjust the machine you have to pull this stupid giant screw that the handle used to be attached to. Retarded. And I can NEVER do it. So, I can never use this machine unless it has already been used by a person around my height.
So, today - I filled out a form for the Suggestion Box (where there were conveniently NO writing implements to be found). I was complaining about this stupid handle. But I started with the words, "PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD..." And yes, I used caps.
Now, I'm totally laughing. It sounded so desperate. I even realized how dumb it was by the time I got to finishing my complaint (around halfway, I stopped using caps). But I didn't feel like filling out another paper. So, I hastefully added a few more words squished in the margin so as not to dampen the team spirit of the YMCA staffers...."Otherwise, nice job all!" and a gott damn happy face. I HAPPY-FACED MY COMPLAINT!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! PULEEEEEEEZ BEEYATCH!!
I gotta grow a couple.