Thursday, November 16, 2006


Today, I threw out the umbrella that smells like B.O. I made 2 people smell it today (I knew them, it was okay) and they didn't smell anything. But I told them when it rains and you dry the umbrella closed, it ends up smelling like moving man armpits.

One time I was in Pharmaprix and thought it was someone around me who stunk. But it was actually my umbrella. Upon realizing this, I was so embarassed that I left without getting my hemorrhoid cream.

So I just kept febreezing the bastard. (The umbrella, not my hemorrhoid).

But then one of the metal prongs broke. So it was not only a stinky umbrella, but a crippled one too. Still, I used it.

But today I voted for change.

I was walking along St. Catherine street and tossed my umbrella into a garbage can like it was yesterday's news. Like we'd never had all those misty watercolour memories pressed between the pages of my mind. The umbrella clanged against the metal side in retaliation - a metallic scream if you will. Like maybe how Astar would sound if he couldn't put his arm back on.

Anyway, then I bought a new one.

It's green. And it smells like Weird Guy near the cash at Le Bag.

But I'll get over it.


Maria said...

I have had an umbrella that smelled like B.O. too. I am starting to think maybe it has to do with the fact that we both live in NDG because no one else seems to know what the heck you are talking about!

But I hear ya sister.
TGIF, and the countdown has started towards my winter vacances...10 days to go.

JB said...

Well, the Weird Guy who hangs out at the shopping ctr in our (soon to be former) neighbourhood smells like he just swam 20 lengths in a vat of urine, so I hope your Weird Guy (and subsequently your new brawly) doesn't smell like that...

dinky said...

....i TOTALLY would have gagged if i had smelled yer brella.... eeeeuuuuuwwwwwwww