Today, I threw out the umbrella that smells like B.O. I made 2 people smell it today (I knew them, it was okay) and they didn't smell anything. But I told them when it rains and you dry the umbrella closed, it ends up smelling like moving man armpits.
One time I was in Pharmaprix and thought it was someone around me who stunk. But it was actually my umbrella. Upon realizing this, I was so embarassed that I left without getting my hemorrhoid cream.
So I just kept febreezing the bastard. (The umbrella, not my hemorrhoid).
But then one of the metal prongs broke. So it was not only a stinky umbrella, but a crippled one too. Still, I used it.
But today I voted for change.
I was walking along St. Catherine street and tossed my umbrella into a garbage can like it was yesterday's news. Like we'd never had all those misty watercolour memories pressed between the pages of my mind. The umbrella clanged against the metal side in retaliation - a metallic scream if you will. Like maybe how Astar would sound if he couldn't put his arm back on.
Anyway, then I bought a new one.
It's green. And it smells like Weird Guy near the cash at Le Bag.
But I'll get over it.