Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Light Reading

I forgot to tell you this the other day.

I was walking from work, to the metro. And getting to this particular stop involves walking through a tunnel near work. There's lots of debris in a downtown tunnel. Pieces of cardboard. Random plastic bags. Grafitti. On this day, I walked past a discarded magazine - lying face up. It was clearly a naughty magazine. But it was the title that actually made me laugh out loud. Right there in bold, red, all-caps font:

BIG ONES.

HEHEEEEEEEEE...come on!! I mean, I know I shouldn't expect a cheap-ass girly mag to have anything BUT a title like that. But BIG ONES!!!!!! My immediate thought was Al Bundy. I guess that's why I laughed. But then I thought about how the magazine might have ended up there and my giggly moment was over. Yeah, totally gross eh?

Big Ones. Big what?! Big spleens? Big handbags? Big swimmer's boogers? Judging from the girl on the cover, it should have been called "Big Twos".

3 comments:

JB said...

Maybe 'Big Subscription Fees'. Kinda creepy, like you said, when you think about why it would be where it was. Yike.
...however, there's a disgusting line using 'the tunnel' which I can't help myself from thinking about.
Mornings this week for me, the only reason I'm up this early. Welcome back.

Newsguy Bob said...

I DIDN'T LEAVE IT THERE, OKAY?

Twiggy said...

ha...sounds like a rejected title for Much Music's 'Mega Hits' , like a mix between One-hit wonders (as opposed to the one-night wonders) and '#1s'

ahaha i had a super gross thought when i wrote '#1s'...bc Big Ones could just be long pees, while 'big twos' well...i'll leave the poop (sandwiches) jokes the rest of ya!