Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii - ya?

Did I tell you I'm taking karate?

This girl is a Black Belt. This girl, owns a black belt.

Kelly has been teaching me karate once a week for about a month now. I suck. The warm up hurts me. It's a lot of crunches and way too many push-ups. Kelly can do push-ups in headstand form. Yeah, I know. My arms are twigs. If I tried to do a headstand (let along a headstand PUSH-UP) my twigs would snap and I would faceplant into the floor.

But it's fun. Karate is much more of a precise artform than I would have anticipated. For instance, you can't just kick your foot out like you're trying to remove a turd from your boot. You gotta kick like you mean it. And kick it high. And keep your leg straight. And angle your foot the right way. Good lord. Can't I just mace my assailant?

I'm tryin', though. And I actually like it. I've been learning kicks so far - but we just got into the hand choppity chops. Kelly holds up a head of lettuce and I shred it into a salad with my choppity chops. Just kidding, stupid. Heads of lettuce rarely attack people in real life. So I've been chopping bags of unwashed spinach. And if you think spinach is so innocent- looks like you've conveniently forgotten that big e.coli scare back in 2006.

Anyway. I have another lesson tonight, so I have to go trash talk the produce in my fridge.