Monday, February 25, 2008

Make The Bad Man Stop.

Why is Ben Mulroney still allowed to be on TV? Why are we still standing for him representing Canada? My poop-eating chihuahuas could have done a better job on the red carpet last nite.

Flea to Cameron Diaz:
Hi Cameron. Your dress is beautiful but your hair sucks milkbones. I've seen shitszus with better ponytails.

Reggie to Kelly Preston:
Your dress is the same colour as my squeaky duck. Mind if I gnaw something til it squeaks? (and not your husband please).

Flea to Jessica Alba:
I heard you're preggers. Been there, done that and you are going to need at least 4 more teats.

Reggie to Diablo Cody:
So what - you used to be a stripper. I used to have nuts.

Then they would proceed to circle, sniff the red carpet and tag it. And the chemical interaction of pee - and Hollywood's most prestigious catwalk would still be more engaging than the banter between Ben Mulroney and ....anything.


Cheryl (a.k.a Sherri, and vice-versa) said...

I'd like to invent a machine that converts smarm to slime; place Ben and Ryan Seacrest in a plexiglass cage with it, and watch them drown in their smarminess. Perhaps intermittently shoving in a microphone and asking "So, Ben, you're drowning in slime,describe the moment for us," and "Ryan, who are you wearing?"

Maybe I should stop watching TV.

Ma Horton said...

Eye check up : I thought Reggie said to Kelly .." your dress is the same colour as my squeaky dick .. "

Newsguy Bob said...

Just in case youse all ain't seen this over ta Kitty's blog:

"Dakota, who are you wearing?"
"Wilma Flintstone, of course."

I've ranted about that lightweight Ben Mulroney before. Okay, so I understand how/why he got the job in the first place. What I DON'T understand is how he keeps it!

Anonymous said...

NGB.... who's Dakota?? heh heh

T said...

I have to agree. Ben Mulroney has about as much pizazz as I have diamonds... As for Ryan Seacrest, still cute, but I even found him annoying last night. I say we get those dogs an agent and spice things up a bit!

Misster Kitty said...

If I ever met B.M. (coincidence that his initials are B.M. I think not!) I'd mark him like Reggie would, and then kick some sand behind me and keep on going.

And what's with the Helmet hair?! Good LORD! I wanna puke when I see him!

JB said...

Yeah. I hate him, too.
Maybe that's why he stays employed.
CTV has discovered that Canadians are happier when there's a member of the Mulroney family easily accessible, so they can hate them.

...and Ma, I'm betting ANYtime you see either of the words 'dock' or 'duck' in print, that your eyes go a little funny and your mind wanders. Just a hunch, of course. ;-P

Newsguy Bob said...

Dakota, Diablo, whatev. You get my point.