Our New Wheels

Check out our sweet new ride, baby! Yeah, she's a bit quirky lookin' but aren't we all?

If all goes well, this weekend we will be the proud new owners of a Prius Hybrid. We are getting a 2006 used model for about $12, 000 cheaper than new sales price! It was inspected yesterday and the guy said it's in excellent condition. Just needed new brake discs which the dealership took care of. Ma even had a test ride in it when she was here. Looks brand spankin' new baby. And fully loaded with all the fun stuff. And as a special promotion, we get a free e-bike with it. And a bag of granola and a complete hemp wardrobe.

Hey, anything beats Corn's current ride. A 1994 Mazda 626 Cronos. This puppy has been on its last wheels forever and yet, it's somehow handled the gruelling 13 hour drive back and forth to PEI for 3 consecutive summers. It has no a/c but it does have a fan - which pours out hot air. I'm not kidding you - hot air. And even if you turn the fan off, you still get trapped in a hotbox because the front dash burns up like a hotplate after about an hour of driving.

Corn thought I was insane last summer because I bought a mini-fan attachment to plug into the lighter for when we drove to PEI. He made fun of me. I told him he couldn't have any of my air then. And then - I forgot to bring it. And sweat poured down my asscrack and I baked slowly for 13 hours at 350.

I guess one of the few positive things about the car is, it's so banged up - Corn has no qualms about rolling across the hood action-star style. Which he does more often than you might think. The car's made cameos in his short movies for that reason. What's another dent?

In the Cronos, there is no radio. It broke over a year ago. Corn did have an MP3 player..but that got stolen (FROM the car, by the way. Window's open - TAKE THE DAMN CAR TOO, WOULD YA?) OH! OH! And squeaky brakes. But not just while braking. They also squeak while driving. 2 years ago, the Cronos really DID get stolen. It was the happiest day of Corn's life. The day before the insurance money was to come in ($5000), the car was found. And so it goes.

So now - a new fuel-efficient car with a/c a stereo a touchscreen display, even! It's a big refreshing sigh of relief. But here's the kicker. We will have a new car, but we have to drive the old beast to the island ONE LAST TIME. Corn's rents want to have it on the island, just to tool around from here to there (and roll action-star style across the hood).

If I forget that fan again, I'm going to lose my mind.