Thursday, May 31, 2007

Pas Ma Faute

Every time Dr. Phil has some teenager with an 'issue' on his show (and show me a teenager without one) - he always goes on about how their brain hasn't stopped growing yet and that they really can't make decisions properly because of it and yadda yadda yadda. Are you kidding me? I was a teenager once (like 2 years ago) and I was never allowed to blame my idiocy on a physiological issue. NOT FAIR. I blamed my hair on the Final Net, my zits on the hormones and my blisters on the jelly shoes...but I couldn't blame my numnuts teenage decision-making on the fact that my brain wasn't capable of decifering right from wrong.

So, I think I missed out.

Therefore, every stupid move I make from now on will heretofore be a direct result of the underdeveloped tender chunks of cuts n' gravy in my head (not the recalled kind).

The first thing I am going to do is some light cardio. I will achieve this by roughing up the nearest geriatric crossing guard. Back me up Dr. Philly! I'll bring a big cardboard cut-out of him when I do it, too. So when the crossing guard describes the attack to police, he'll remember seeing Dr. Phil. Sure, I'll be there too. But if you were being roughed up by a generic-looking girl and a GIANT ONE DIMENSIONAL, STONE-FACED BIG BALD MAN WHO RESSEMBLED DR. PHIL ....which would you remember most?

Yeah, I thought so.

The lesson here, people? Dr. Phil hates crossing guards. And my brain isn't my fault.

4 comments:

Maria said...

When you rough up the guard can you please let us know when and where so that I can sell lemonade for the occassion.

JB said...

You haven't been a teen for two years?
Wow, yer old, eh?
We live in a world where we're afraid to offend people who murder and steal. "Oh, they must have had a terrible childhood! it's not their fault! They're a victim!"
...so how could we possibly blame poor teens for the stoopid things they do? 'New age' psychiatry, like Dr. Phil's, is so bogus. I can't watch it. Makes me crazy that he's even got work, let alone a gazillionaire from all of it.

T said...

hehe, I forgot about the existence of jelly shoes until I read your post. Loved 'em. Thanks for taking me back N@...lol

Marisa said...

When you rough up that guard, I would like to be there to be the voice of Dr. Phil..."Now, what were you thinkin?"