Thursday, May 31, 2007

Pas Ma Faute

Every time Dr. Phil has some teenager with an 'issue' on his show (and show me a teenager without one) - he always goes on about how their brain hasn't stopped growing yet and that they really can't make decisions properly because of it and yadda yadda yadda. Are you kidding me? I was a teenager once (like 2 years ago) and I was never allowed to blame my idiocy on a physiological issue. NOT FAIR. I blamed my hair on the Final Net, my zits on the hormones and my blisters on the jelly shoes...but I couldn't blame my numnuts teenage decision-making on the fact that my brain wasn't capable of decifering right from wrong.

So, I think I missed out.

Therefore, every stupid move I make from now on will heretofore be a direct result of the underdeveloped tender chunks of cuts n' gravy in my head (not the recalled kind).

The first thing I am going to do is some light cardio. I will achieve this by roughing up the nearest geriatric crossing guard. Back me up Dr. Philly! I'll bring a big cardboard cut-out of him when I do it, too. So when the crossing guard describes the attack to police, he'll remember seeing Dr. Phil. Sure, I'll be there too. But if you were being roughed up by a generic-looking girl and a GIANT ONE DIMENSIONAL, STONE-FACED BIG BALD MAN WHO RESSEMBLED DR. PHIL ....which would you remember most?

Yeah, I thought so.

The lesson here, people? Dr. Phil hates crossing guards. And my brain isn't my fault.


Maria said...

When you rough up the guard can you please let us know when and where so that I can sell lemonade for the occassion.

JB said...

You haven't been a teen for two years?
Wow, yer old, eh?
We live in a world where we're afraid to offend people who murder and steal. "Oh, they must have had a terrible childhood! it's not their fault! They're a victim!" how could we possibly blame poor teens for the stoopid things they do? 'New age' psychiatry, like Dr. Phil's, is so bogus. I can't watch it. Makes me crazy that he's even got work, let alone a gazillionaire from all of it.

T said...

hehe, I forgot about the existence of jelly shoes until I read your post. Loved 'em. Thanks for taking me back

Marisa said...

When you rough up that guard, I would like to be there to be the voice of Dr. Phil..."Now, what were you thinkin?"