I don't get mad easily. So, when I do - I know something's out of whack. This morning, I nearly popped a blood vessel in my forehead trying to find my umbrella. The more I looked, the more frustrated I became.
Know what that's called, friends? P M frickin' S. THAT'S what. I had to leave before I started pulling the drywall down with my teeth.
Then I got on the bus. Apparently, I didn't get the memo that today was No Hygiene Tuesday. Cool. So, I had 3 olfactory choices in my immediate radius - depending on which way I decided to turn my head.
1. Left: Chronic Coughing Mothball-Smelling Old Man.
2. Straight ahead: Middle-age Man Suffocating Morning Breath.
3. Right: Chain Smoker.
I picked the smoker. Because I at least KNEW and understood what the smell was. And at least he wasn't coughing or exhaling a wave of soup breath in my face.
Don't mess with this ninja today, stinky people.
5 comments:
You know... I KNEW something was wrong this morning. You and I are experiencing some sort of 'Freaky Friday' moment (the Jodie Foster version, not the LiLo one... YUCKIE!) ...
I woke up this morning just ready and rearing to throw down, with someone, ANYone. Didn't matter if they were young or old, male or female, smelly or clean... In fact, I chose the oversized, heavy, metal tipped umbrella, ready to scratch paint, whack a shin-bone, or do my best version of the nutcracker to the first person that even looked my way, let alone bumped into me, breathed ape-scent gloriola in my direction, hit me with their car, etc...
But life, she's a fickle fickle lady, one with no sense of timing what-so-ever, and I had one of the most problematic free mornings of recent months, nay, dare I say years. And because of that I arrived at work so wounded up I got a headache from it (or it could be a sympathy headache for Kelli... who can say)
Anywho, long story short (too late) I seem to have accidentally taken your morning, and you mine...
Mea Culpa.
My wife is hypoglycemic, and she gets in exactly that same mood when she hasn't had enough sugar.
;-)
What's the difference between an angry pitbull and N@ with PMS?
Not a lot, apparently.
Corn: Walk softly, and remember the special life-saving phrase: "Yes, Dear". Your cyber brothers are here for ya, Dude.
Umbrellas will do that to ya!!They piss me off too !
auntie c ...
Nat you stories are hilarious, having taken the bus to school almost daily I can relate to these stories. Once this woman who must have taken a shower in perfume sat down next to me and I thought I would get sick from the smell so I opened the window - she got mad at me cuz she said she was cold then the man in a seat sideways next to me told the lady can't you see she is going to be sick let her keep the window open - i think he was also glad I opened the window since the perfume was getting to everyone. I'm trying my hand on an entertainment blog aside from my personal one - if you feel like checking it out time to time here it is: http://stuffbytball.blogspot.com/
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