Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Grr.

I don't get mad easily. So, when I do - I know something's out of whack. This morning, I nearly popped a blood vessel in my forehead trying to find my umbrella. The more I looked, the more frustrated I became.
Know what that's called, friends? P M frickin' S. THAT'S what. I had to leave before I started pulling the drywall down with my teeth.

Then I got on the bus. Apparently, I didn't get the memo that today was No Hygiene Tuesday. Cool. So, I had 3 olfactory choices in my immediate radius - depending on which way I decided to turn my head.

1. Left: Chronic Coughing Mothball-Smelling Old Man.
2. Straight ahead: Middle-age Man Suffocating Morning Breath.
3. Right: Chain Smoker.

I picked the smoker. Because I at least KNEW and understood what the smell was. And at least he wasn't coughing or exhaling a wave of soup breath in my face.

Don't mess with this ninja today, stinky people.

5 comments:

Misster Kitty said...

You know... I KNEW something was wrong this morning. You and I are experiencing some sort of 'Freaky Friday' moment (the Jodie Foster version, not the LiLo one... YUCKIE!) ...

I woke up this morning just ready and rearing to throw down, with someone, ANYone. Didn't matter if they were young or old, male or female, smelly or clean... In fact, I chose the oversized, heavy, metal tipped umbrella, ready to scratch paint, whack a shin-bone, or do my best version of the nutcracker to the first person that even looked my way, let alone bumped into me, breathed ape-scent gloriola in my direction, hit me with their car, etc...

But life, she's a fickle fickle lady, one with no sense of timing what-so-ever, and I had one of the most problematic free mornings of recent months, nay, dare I say years. And because of that I arrived at work so wounded up I got a headache from it (or it could be a sympathy headache for Kelli... who can say)

Anywho, long story short (too late) I seem to have accidentally taken your morning, and you mine...

Mea Culpa.

JB said...

My wife is hypoglycemic, and she gets in exactly that same mood when she hasn't had enough sugar.
;-)

Newsguy Bob said...

What's the difference between an angry pitbull and N@ with PMS?

Not a lot, apparently.

Corn: Walk softly, and remember the special life-saving phrase: "Yes, Dear". Your cyber brothers are here for ya, Dude.

Anonymous said...

Umbrellas will do that to ya!!They piss me off too !
auntie c ...

tball said...

Nat you stories are hilarious, having taken the bus to school almost daily I can relate to these stories. Once this woman who must have taken a shower in perfume sat down next to me and I thought I would get sick from the smell so I opened the window - she got mad at me cuz she said she was cold then the man in a seat sideways next to me told the lady can't you see she is going to be sick let her keep the window open - i think he was also glad I opened the window since the perfume was getting to everyone. I'm trying my hand on an entertainment blog aside from my personal one - if you feel like checking it out time to time here it is: http://stuffbytball.blogspot.com/