Thursday, December 07, 2006

Real vs Fake

Corn and I did the home supplies junket last night. Home Depot, Canadian Tire and Reno Depot. The plan: to get blinds and a pre-lit Christmas tree.

What we came out with: an oven liner and squishy fruit candy. Neither of which can provide adequate, long-term window coverage OR be used in lieu of a Christmas tree.

Wood blinds are like $3-400 a pop (insert incredulous laughter here). Seriously, people why didn't you TELL me they were so asspensive? But we finally found some FAKE wood blinds for a more reasonable $80 each and we can get them cut to size for our windows. Which we can hopefully do tonight.

We also picked out some paint colours. Because right now, our walls are a lovely patchwork of plastered-over nail holes. Which, while delicious - is also becoming an eyesore.

And as far as the Christmas tree goes....I'm all about fake! How 'bout you guys? I prefer fake for these reasons:

1) I feel bad for real trees. I mean really - isn't it sad, after the holidays when you see all those droopy Christmas trees, stripped of their decorations - heaped on top of garbage bags at the end of the driveway? Hey, I know I keep my houseplants on the verge of 'barely alive' but I don't love 'em and leave 'em. I draw out the agony - 365 days a year, baby!

2) I don't want the dogs tempted to eat the needles.

3) I don't want to be tempted to eat the needles.

Anyway - we scouted fake trees last night and they come in 2 types:

a) ugly and cheap.
b) purdy and stupid-expensive.

So, we decided we'd use the tacky mini-tree I've had for years, instead and get a good one next year. Besides, we won't be spending Christmas together this year and the tree might just seem...a bit weird to have? I don't like spending the holidays sans Corn. I love going home to Timmins and of course, he wants to spend time with HIS family (who are here in Montreal)...but,
I wish we could find a happy balance. Maybe both sides can travel to a halfway point and spend the holidays crammed in a neon-lit room in a Super 8.

Anyhoo - Happy Thursday!


Amazon Woman said...

It is hard! Perhaps each year yout take one year, Timmins the next? We gotta drive all over God green (or white) Earth on Xmas. So I hear ya but that is a far distance!

Wait until after Xmas and buy it then. We did that years ago and got a $150 non prelit 9back in WH Perron) for like $50. Stick it out and you and your wallet will be happy. But you have to go after Xmas cause if you wait until too late, there will nothing left.

Keep smilin!

Angry Gnome said...

My family has always been about real trees but I will admit to feeling bad about them when the season ends. However, I do like to think that these little xmas trees think of the holiday season as their time to shine, you know what I mean? They've waited until they were big enough and now they're ready to meet their destinies.

It's too bad you and Corn (like Maize?) won't be spending the holidays together and I agree with the above poster that maybe you can figure out a whole alternate year thing or spend Christmas with one family and New Years with the other. Another good idea is the halfway thingy - I come from a very large extended family that is pretty much divided between here and Toronto so one year we decided to meet in Kingston for xmas. It was the shizznit.

Anonymous said...

White Rose or Michaels - after Christmas. You'll find a beautiful fake tree for cheap, cheap, cheap.
(that is if there's a White Rose or Michaels in Montreal)

Rick said...


FAKE IT - Same goes for the trees, I see no point in cutting down a tree to hang stuff on for a holiday…Imagine Trees did that to people…your sleeping away and in comes this giant fur tree and shoves your legs in a foot massager then hooks ornaments straps ribbon ,then follows that with a string of hot lights around you…not to mention their pet bush drinking all your foot massage watter?...No thank you I prefer a fake tree.

Oh God the lights…they burn – they burn…

JB said...

Answer to the where-to-spend-Christmas-celebration question:
Get married.
Then the guy has to do whatever the girl wants to do.
Trust me on that one.

Rick said...


She doesn't have to get married to influence Corn's actions. All she has to do is use the Audio equipment at the station to make a subliminal, and play for him while he sleeps...presto...Instant Slave

BTW: N@ can i get a copy. i have some people to try it out on.

Rick said...

TAPE....i forgot the word TAPE!!!!

Anonymous said...

Nat, I agree you should buy your tree right after Christmas. All stores will have them on sale. I paid mine $100 a few years back and it was $399 before Christmas. As for spending the holidays with your family, I sure know what that's like with half my family in NB and the other half in Toronto!! What you should do is spend X-Mas with Corn's family, and New Year's with yours, then next year, you do the opposite. Come on, you can't spend the holidays separately like that forever. I'm very sad for you!!
I hope Flea is doing better too. I'm so grateful that my dog-son is so healthy and playful. But I'm glad you gave her the meds. They will help.


Jul said...

Pre lit trees on sale at ZELLERS this week for 116$!!! Check it out before they are all gone (usually 300$)

Anonymous said...

N@, I got a nice pre lit 6 and a half ft tree at Wal-Mart for $50. Looks nice and goes up in about 3 minutes. No fuss, no muss. As for spending the holidays apart, I have 3 families to think about and they all take a weekend and come to visit. The first set of in laws will be here the 18th, the next boxing day and my parents are coming for New Year's. Makes it easier than taking the time off work to go to North Bay and we alternate every year. It's worked for the last 5 yrs....

Newsguy Bob said...

Fake boobs? - No.
Fake Christmas tree? - Yes.

Okay, so it was trees that were up for discussion, but I'm a guy -- I can turn anything around to be about boobs. This one wasn't even a challenge.

My family has had a fake tree since I was about 13. My parents finally figured out why my childhood bronchitis would flare up every Christmas, then subside within a couple of hours of the tree going out into the snowbank.

What do you put on top your tree? Do you shove the tree up an angel's bum, or do you use a star? My brother has a toque and scarf that my mom knitted for his first grown-up Christmas tree, 26 years ago, ensuring that it's a Canadian Christmas tree, eh. My sister-in-law -- who is a Goddess when it comes to decorating for any holiday -- still uses it. It's a family tradition in a very weird family.

kim said...

Hi Skanky Fart Pie and all your readers...

Hawaii is BEEE-U-TI-FUL. Great weather and very friendy people.

U2 / Pearl Jam Concert on Saturday then home on Sunday.

Give my love to Flea...

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Maria said...

What does the above post have to do with Christmas trees? lol
I thinky he looking for a date! LOL

By the way my vote goes to the fake trees. Easier from beginning to end. No shlepping in the cold to pick a tree, and straddle it over your car and all that jazz. I agree about buying it on Boxing Day though - it will be DIRT CHEAP!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
MrGS said...

I personally prefer going to the farm and getting a living Christmas tree...and then find some way of replanting it or just planting it outside my house and spend an outdoor Christmas.