Monday, October 16, 2006

Smell ya later

**Angry Gnome and Kelly Goodlad! You've been linked (hope you don't mind!)...**

Last night, Corn and I woke in the middle of the night to a sudden bang noise. Corn said it was Flea getting spooked (which she does, oh - at least 5000 times a day). Last night, she opted not to come sleep in the crate beside my bed. Instead, she stayed rolled in a tight little ball on the couch - snuggled in a warm throw. I suspect what she did was come into the room in the middle of the night, tried to get into the crate and got spooked (maybe she forgot Chachi was already in there?). Corn said after the bang noise, he heard her little nails scurrying out of the bedroom and back into the living room. Either way, it woke us up. And once we were awake:

We immediately noticed the smell. SKUNK! And so thick in the air, I thought for sure the thing was in the apartment. The odour was just a few degrees shy of chokingly bad. I actually got out of bed to check around (totally lame since we live on the 2nd floor). No vermin. But the smell was insane.

This is the third time in as many months that I have awoken in the middle of the night to a vivid smell - and each time, the smell was DISTINCTLY different! You know how every building (and especially apartment buildings) has a smell? Not even necessarily unpleasant...just there.

Well, our apartment building has a 'smell'. It's not food or bodies or human. It's kind of vegetative. And it changes. Sometimes, Corn will walk into the place and proclaim, This smell is NOT us! (and believe me, we are often smelly so we recognize our own brand). And it's TRUE. It's not us. And then other times, it is gone for days. Only to return, for instance in the middle of the night.

Which brings me back to the three late night smells. So, yes the first would be the vegetative smell belonging to the building itself. I woke up in the night, smelling it so clearly I might as well have been standing in a bog.

Smell Number Two (hahahaaa!) is the aforementioned skunk (which I actually believe was real and not building-or-boyfriend-produced).


The third smell that woke me up recently at some ungodly hour...


I'm serious! Cake! I actually woke up, inhaling so feverishly that Corn woke up and asked what I was doing. To which I responded, CAKE! Can't you smell it? It smells so good!

He didn't smell it.

And I am definitely no stranger to late-night ramblings so I distinctly remember telling myself to make sure I was awake and not half-dreaming. And I could STILL smell it. It was vanilla. And it smelled amazing. How simultaneously lucky and cruel is that? It's like having your jaw wired shut at Thanksgiving dinner. You can looky, but you no touchy!

So I dunno. Maybe we're haunted. I think I've heard that ghosts are supposed to smell like sulfur. But cake? I'm okay with that, I guess. At least SOMEONE can bake in this joint! Actually a friend of mine sez when she was a kid, there used to be an old lady in this building who'd stand on her balcony and throw old teddy bears at them. Maybe this is HER old place. Maybe she used to bake vanilla cake and throw that at the kids, too. Maybe we have to enlist the Pillsbury Dough Boy to do an exorcism!

Maybe I should stop doing NyQuil shots before bed.


Anonymous said...

Funny you should teel that story, today at work, I swear I could smell hay. Granted, I have a head cold and my sniffer is not up to snuff, but it was real to me. Now I am off to take some little blue pills(not THOSE kind...) and a nyquil cahser. Sweet (*vanilla cake*) dreams to me...

Maria said...

God I love this blog. I never laughed so much. I actually had to call hubby over to read the post.

I bet the Phillsbury Dough Boy's ears are ringing...

Amazon Woman said...

Ya live near a skunk bakery? Weird...skunk makes me nauseous ever since Miss Daisy got sprayed...twice.

Keep smilin!

Anonymous said...

you gave me a link! that is so sweet! is it because i am such a frequent visitor? i must do the same for you...and the angry gnome.

thanks :D

Angry Gnome said...

Thanks for the linkage!
FYI to potential readers at AG, the blog has no point whatsoever. I just like to ramble. Enjoy.

JB said...

The Pillsbury Doughboy is not available to help you right now. He's out of commission with a yeast infection.

I used to live in an apartment building where someone cooked corned beef and cabbage every single frickin' night. It sucked big assbags.

kim said...

Sung to the tune of "Mr. Sandman"...

Ms. Lauzon. Write me a post.
Or are you somewhere, smelling your ghost?
Make it a good one, with reference to Corn
Or I will have to leave your site find some porn.

Ms. Lauzon. I am so bored.
I think the guy at the next desk just snored.
Please make me laugh the most
Ms. Lauzon - write me a post!

kim said...

Nat is a Dork.
Her snot is green.
She takes so long to post
On her computer machine.

Nat is a dork.
Her pooh is brown.
You can smell her farts
All over town.

Nat is a dork.
Her pee is yellow.
When she laughs her face jiggles
like green jello.

Nat is a dork.
Her earwax is gold.
She is double jointed
Or so I'm told.

Nat is a dork.
Her toejam is black.
When she doesn't post it gives me
A heart attack.

N@ Lauzon said...

Kim, I am flattered. And also planning your intervention.