Monday, October 02, 2006

Pink Blobs

I love cereal.

I go thru phases where I am addicted to one kind for many months. This has occurred with: Quaker Harvest Crunch, Vector, Life, Raisin Bran, Ginger Zing (by Nature's Path..this stuff is AWESOME). But right now I am in limbo. Haven't quite committed to an oat. Corn bought a new cereal recently - something with dried strawberries in it. What is the reason for dried strawberries anyway? They look dead and taste like styrofoam (see also: Joan Rivers). And adding milk only makes them look bloated and dead and taste like styrofoam (see also: Liza Minelli).


So, I was eating this stuff (because I'll complain but I ain't gonna do bubkiss) and whattdyaknow - a veritable explosion of strawberry-(like) flavour! Amazing! I was about to rewrite my opinion on the whole dried fruit fandango when I noticed that the taste had not come from the berry itself but from a soft, little pill-sized pink blob. I inspected further. Swirling round with my spoon, I noticed that the pink blobs were everywhere - ready to falsify my breakfast consuming experience with every innocent spoonful!

I felt cheated. Used. A victim of false advertising. If you are going to give me strawberry(like) flavoured pink blobs - just tell me. Don't sneak 'em in there between the flakes, whistling all innocently like they're waiting for the bus. Pink blobs are NOT strawberries. In fact, I don't even know what pink blobs are! Maybe they are some kind of mind control medication to make me embrace the idea of dried strawberries.

Bah on the mysterious pink blobs. Tomorrow morning, I am going to pour a box of strawberry nerds into a bowl and add milk. At least I'll know what I'm gettin'.


Twiggy said...

haha..strawberry nerds..YOU'LL know what you're getting, but no one else will know why you're bouncing off the wall on an extreme sugar high.
note: My boyfriend bought a giant box of Nerds yesterday and proceeded to drop half the contents into my car (by mistake, of course, or else it would proably read "ex-boyfriend"). It made for a very colourful floormat but seeing as how i have no real vaccuum it also made for a frustrating clean-up.
Cheers, nevergvieupnevergivein

Anonymous said...

N@, I thought I was the only one with a cereal fetish...My 2 faves right now are new vanilla frosted mini wheats and maple nut oatmeal crisp. I have a slight aversion to the strawberry kinds, as I would end up looking like a big pink blob(see also Elvis in his last few years)

Newsguy Bob said...

...Or will you really know? Just don't read the ingredient list. And if you do, don't look any of them up in the dictionary. Sometimes, ignorance really IS bliss (see George W. Bush).

JB said...

First, I found it intriguing and just a little odd that you know what Joan and Liza taste like...and then thought, "maybe, if you soak either of them, they'll expand and bloat and look almost normal...but would they taste different?" Obviously, you answered that. Only if you put little pink blobs in the milk.

p.s. regular Cheerios, not too much milk, and a coating of sugar over the entire 'top layer' - used to be an addiction for me.
I actually ate so much Cap'n Crunch and Honeycomb as a child that I OD'd on them and have never eaten them since. ;-P

Cheryl (a.k.a Sherri, and vice-versa) said...

Honey Nut Cheerios. With bananas or blueberries...strawberries bleed. Like, ew. :) Once spent approximately $25 US in Japan to buy four boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios. From some guy that bought them on a US military base, and resold them to suckers like me. Made me feel like I was buying crack. It's amazing how comforting one simple familiar food can be in a totally foreign environment.

Amazon Woman said...

Cheerios can be crackalicious! But not $25 dollars-ilicious. Ouch..

Keep smilin!