Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Neezinfeets

Corn is having his FOURTH knee surgery tomorrow. This guy's knees snap like candycanes every few months. Remember how Barbie could bend her knees both ways? Yeah - Corn is convinced he'll be able to do it one of these days. He tore a ligament called the meniscus last week, doing light squats (ironically to strengthen his lower body). The surgery tomorrow isn't as bad as ACL surgery (he's had 2), and the recovery time is much shorter. So, that's good. I wonder if the painkillers will make him as high as the ones did last time around. He spent the first few days in a drug-induced purple haze last year. I messed with his mind by painting myself green and walking around with a Ronald Regan halloween mask. I'm not sure he noticed.

Meanwhile back at the ranch..nothing torn on me, except the opinion (mine) about whether or not to cut my hair and THAT decision was made today as I sat in Marion's chair at LaCoupe. It's short again! Actually, not super short, it's just above the shoulders. But it was PAST my shoulders and really becoming a pain in the ass before. So, ahhhh....I feel better.

Say friends, ever shave your feet? I don't mean hair on your big toe (you KNOW you have it!), I mean skin. I realize how gross that sounds - and friends, it is! The tub aftermath is certainly chilling (Skin Flakes--not just for breakfast anymore!), but I have been doing this to my feet for about a year now when I don't have time for a real pedicure. Pharmacies sell these little razor blade dealies for shaving dead skin off your feet and dagnabbit, I LOVE 'em! I remove so much dead skin off my feet on a regular basis, I could make a whole other me with the shavin's. I'm certain I go down at least 2 shoe sizes. Hannibal Lector could re-apholster his entire living room set, nevermind a lampshade.

MMM...foot shavin's.

If I had a pedicure shop, that's what I'd call it. But I'd spell it Fut Shavens (with those 2 little dots above the 'u') to make it cooler. Or to make people think they were going to a subsidiary of Ikea. I wouldn't sell furniture, but when customers came in the door, I'd throw scalding hot swedish meatballs at them.

And call them Aspelund.

5 comments:

Maria said...

You are completely insane NAT! I love it! As nasty as that whole foot shaving thing sounded it was darn funny to read!

Brings whole new meaning to the term "Shave to Save" LOL

JB said...

I say mix 'em with a little boiled water and some brown sugar and you probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference between them and Cream of Wheat.
;-)

...and sorry to hear about Corn's surgery. I've been a candidate for hip replacement (many years of both goaltending and long distance running) for a long time, and have been putting it off, but I want to be able to run after The Tinks, so I'm thinking I have to start that process soon. Good luck, Corn, and I hope recovery is quick and not too painful.

Sue said...

It's possible to shave feet? I feel like I've just crawled from under a rock! I have never had a pedicure before and I am sure that I'm missing out. So what are those razor thingies called and in which aisle of the pharmacy can they be found?


Poor Corn; surgery again?! I wish him a speedy recovery.

In response to an earlier post, I too noticed that not as many N@tlanders have been posting. Before the birth of my son last year, I would occasionaly post my comments. But that has become an impossible feat these days in my crammed quarters and with a little man constantly trying to push the keyboard away from me! I do however, read your blog everyday (and checkout JB's, Ma H's and Maria's too). U all rock!

Maria said...

OMG I rock too!? I mean JB and Nat's blog and even Ma Hortons is quite entertaining BUT Mine is almost non-existant I am too busy reading everyone else's! LOL Not enough hours in the day to keep up with my own!

Amazon Woman said...

Hope Corn feels better soon! There are still nice people in the world (heard you 0.20$ story). Sending him speedy recovery vibes!

Nat, I gotta get me a foot shaver now! Anything to help these feet that look like hooves!

Keep smilin!

P.S. That's my blog to add to the bunch!