Sustenance

Yeah, okay. So I guess you deserve some shiz.

I haven't been posting lately because:

a) it's summah time and the livin' is easy and I don't wanna sit in front of a steenking computey machine.

b) I gots nuthin'.

c) I gots sumthin' but if you knew I'd have to give you a purple nurple to keep you quiet. Although, I might purple nurple you if you ask nicely, too (and for a small fee).

I've been all over the grid this summer - workwise. And I haven't felt inspired to write. I never want this blog to feel like a chore, so when I post it's because I really want to. Some of you might know I write a national countdown show called The Canadian Top 20, hosted by Steve Anthony. Make that, 'wrote'. I resigned those writing duties a few weeks ago, and have a few shows left to squeeze out.

After almost 2 years that style of writing started to take over my life and weekends. It was a great experience for me, but I felt I'd grown as far as I could with it. And I really want to be able to pursue other writing jobs that allow more editorial leeway - like the Monitor column for instance. Y'know, fun silly stuff which is where my heart really is. That, and I need to start expanding my freelance voice work.

It was a nice little paycheck. But - I fear losing my creativity and opportunities to grow more than I fear losing that money. So - onto new things! I'm excited about it.

Some personal updates....

We were on vaykay last week. Our week was bookended by weddings. The first, a traditional Indian ceremony on a GRAND scale. I mean, an absolutely huge event at a private home. Massive tent on a Cirque du Soleil scale. And apparently the wedding celebration was the last of 7 CONSECUTIVE PARTIES!

Here's a shot of the groom and his fellers:



And a drunk reveller who absconded with the groom's headdress:



I've never been to an Indian wedding and it was fabulous. Very cool traditions - and
naturally, the food was out of this world.

This past week, we drove to Vermont for another wedding. It was this past Saturday in Stowe, but we went a few days early to hang out.

We stayed in North Hero at the North Hero House. Corn's family had a cottage there when he was young and he wanted to sleuth around and try to relive the old days. Y'know, churn butter, shoe plowhorses that kinda thing. Down the street from our inn, there was a General Store which had the kickiest assiest sandwiches. HUGE, delicious, fresh and wrapped in crunchy old time paper. The paper sealed the deal for me. It's like getting chinese food in chinese food cartons, y'know? There's just something fun about that.

Why, here is a young man enjoying said sangweech now:



The North Hero House was quaint and all but the walls were so thin you could hear the conversation next door. And I don't mean the muted wa wa waaa noise of a conversation. I mean, I might as well have been standing in spittin' distance. Okay, so I had my ear against the wall - but it was THAT CLEAR! Do you know how exciting that is for a hard of hearing shlep like me?! I swear to god, I was pressed against the wall listening and all I got was a boring ass conversation about some old lady who runs a B and B. No murder cover-up. No fighting. No safe deposit box in a Swiss bank. The people on the other side probably heard the sound of me rolling my eyes.

North Hero is a short drive from hippieville, Burlington. I freakin' love Burlington. I want to live there. I want to be able to walk at a crosswalk and have people ACTUALLY STOP!! Amazing. Seriously, the people there are so nice and the shopping is great too. I'm sure the people in Burlington come to Montreal to the 'big city' - but I think I'd be okay trading places for a while.

Then it was off to Stowe where we stayed at the Green Mountain Inn. There was a pre-wedding cocktail the night before at the top of Mount Mansfield. It was at a ski chalet and the only way to get there was by gondola. Ma Horton would have lost her mind and quite possibly her lunch because she no likey heights. Let me tell you, coming down the side of a mountain in a gondola at night with no lights along the way is a strange experience. I really liked it though and I didn't even leave that much pee on the seat.

Corn on the Gondola with a couplea ladies:


The wedding the next day was at a private residence in the mountains (not the Von Trapps, Misster Kitty). When I say private residence I mean sprawling estate. It was insane and beautiful and nestled right in the hills. You had to take a bus from the parking lot. Yes, parking lot. Brian Mulroney and Mila were there. Yeah. I don't know how I ended up at this thing in my 40 dollar H & M dress, but there I was. Here's a self portrait which gives you absolutely no notion of the land but at least you get to see what I look like just before spitting out a fingernail:



At one point, Corn comes up to me and says, 'Do you think it would be inappropriate to ask Brian Mulroney to take a picture of him kicking me in the balls?'. Inappropriate - yes. Hilarious - also yes. Is there a photo in existence? How much is it worth to you, FRANK Magazine?

That was a spectacular wedding, too. Good times, y'all. Good freakin' times.

And that's pretty much the update. Yesterday, I was back at work and had the chance to interview Alannah Myles. Yes, that Alannah Myles. She's back with a new album and sang an accoustic version of Black Velvet that I'll be playing on the Nooner next week. I want to tell you more about her, but you'll have to hear it for yourself. The last couple of decades have not been easy on her. I mean what she has endured would have left most people throwing in the towel. She is a survivor and I am a fan all over again! More next week.

And that's all I gots for now. Will it tide you over for at least a month you greedy baby birds?


Corn is:
a) trying to solve Final Jeopardy.
b) watching the Dateline blacklight special on hotel rooms
c) sulking after I insulted his man-pris
d) leave your answer in the comments