...On my Facebook, that is. She said this:
n@!!! what's with the silence?! you haven't spewed your grey matter into the blogosphere in almost a week! i'm going into forced remission! no pressure or anything...;) Also, I love you so much I am going to buy you a pony with a pink mane that can solve math equations by tapping answers out with its hooves.
Okay, I added the last part. You know me too well.
Is it wrong that I actually start getting inklings of guilt when I don't post? Does that happen to you guys? I've THOUGHT about posting the past 6 days. But I haven't really endured anything post-worthy. In actuality though, I have. TONS of stuff. We all do - but I think we don't think of it as blog fodder because it's so everyday and banal.
But it's not banal!
The best stuff to read about is about people's everyday lives. Sometimes you gotta just start writing to see what pours out. So...
Yesterday, I came home and noticed a well-groomed, very attractive couple trying to ring someone from the lobby. That someone, whoever it was, wasn't answering. My first thought was - maybe it's a real estate agent and a client coming to see a place. No biggie. So, I got my mail and went inside. Just as the lobby door was about to close the girl said,
I turned around and said...eeeyyyeessssss???? I didn't say it like that. But I wished I had.( Go here and watch the first 17 seconds to read my mail).
She said, "I've been trying to reach someone in your building because (out comes bible pamphlet) .....blah blah blah "Right here, Jesus says...blabhlabhlahlh"
My inside voice: GAAAAAAAAHHH! JEHOVAH'S WITNESS! What do I say? Do I suddenly speak in tongues? Do I claim atheism? Should I say I am a disciple in the school of rock? What's his deal? Why is he standing outside? Are they related? Are they in a cult? Holy sh*t, am I being brainwashed? How do I get them OUTTA here? Do I invite them in for poop sandwiches? They totally won't know what to say. OH MY GOD I'M TOTALLY INVITING THEM IN FOR POOP SANDWICHES!!!! And I'm going to say it so seriously she won't know what to think. Yes, okay..nod, nod like you're listening..when you find an opening, gently touch her arm and ask them both to come inside. But have a bit of crazy in your eye. And maybe a tick. Is a tick too much? No, no!! A tick is good! Okay...and reeeeally ennunciate the word PEEWWWP. Oh my god this is gonna be funny and....aaaaaand here we go....
"Do you want...to...? Uh...I... I'm not really interested, thanks."
Then I closed the door behind me leaving Jehovah's next top models in the lobby.