Well, well, well! Looks like I'm not the ONLY one with feet like Mr. Ed! :)
I am here to enlighten you to the world of foot shavers, peoples. You will find them in the nails section of any pharmacy (where they sell pumice stones, etc). The brand I use comes in a purple package and is made by Tweezerman. Here's a pic.
Now, while you're at the store purchasing your skin tools - you will also want to pick up a pumice stone and cuticle nippers . And maybe a heavy duty nail file just for your toenails and whatever nail polish floats your boat.
You need to soak your feet for a while to soften the skin. So, do it either in the bath OR a little tub of water. The areas I attack on my feet, are a small hard spot at the side of the foot (near the baby toe)and the back of the heel. The shaver is pretty self-explanitory and you just gently shave thin layers of hardened skin off (you may require some fancy twistwork to reach your pieds OR enlist the help of a loved one who owes you). There is always a warning not to shave too close to the 'live' skin because you can cut yourself but I never have. It's kinda foolproof.
After you've shaved some nice flakes o' foot, pumice those bad boys down to a soft, shiny finish. Oh! And the cuticle nippers are good for your toenail cutes. But do these wet, also.
If you have selected the bath option, you will notice that you are now stewing in a soup of your own foot flakes and filth. You are a disgusting pig and must now shower. Also, get one of those little hair-catcher things for the drain to filter the runoff or you will clog your drain with your own foot refuse.
Man, is it just me or is anyone else hungry?